Faith

Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

As of late, especially in the last few months, faith is a reoccurring word for me. Just when you think you've done enough to show God how much you trust Him, or begin to take comfort in your recent leap of faith, that's when He makes you realize that you could still have more. How I can never have enough faith.

It's a tricky thing. Sometimes, we delude ourselves to think we do trust in God. But in actuality, when you dig down to the core, are you trusting God because you believed He would answer your prayers the way you wanted Him to? Or are you truly trusting in Him, meaning you believe in His Sovereign will and therefore can take great comfort and joy in His plan for you regardless of if He grants you your request?

I think these are critical questions that we must ask ourselves. Hebrews speaks of sureness of things we hope for and a certainty of things unseen. Breaking this down, what we hope for is sometimes self-driven and does not have God in the equation. Ideally, I think faith as a Christian means placing hope and our eggs in the Lord's basket. Meaning we want God's will to be done; prime example, Jesus Christ. That faith is grounded in the Lord who said through Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you, not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." What we cannot hold, and tangibly grasp however, is hard to be certain about.

Yes, I believe we can all hope for a better tomorrow. Hope for a time of rest. Hope for a sick friend or family member to recover and be healed. But how are we to be certain of things unseen? Something I've been wrestling with, but this is what I think it boils down to.

There is often a resolution in a belief which is translated into action. I think our faith can be seen in the actions we take to daily trust in the Lord. It is in the prayers of supplication and submission to the Lord's will. Our conversations with the Lord and others also can reveal faith. It is heavily tied with hope because we are depending on eternal rewards which are intangible at the moment. Sometimes we may get a glimpse of it but more often than not, we may never see it in our lifetime.

When I examine the great Hall of Faith members, there is a recurring theme of faith in action. Their thoughts can be summed up in Hebrews 11:13b-16. "They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them."

Somehow, their stories woven throughout the Word show a faith that is alive. They don't merely preach it, but live it. The disconnect between knowing, believing and acting on it is quite intricate. I pray being surrounded by a "great cloud of witnesses" (Hebrews 12:1) that I too will be a woman of God who lives "by faith." My earnest request is that the Lord will be able to say, "By faith, Christine..."

Baltimore, or better known as B'more

MASSIVE UPDATE:

So I've been here about 6 months now..wow..time sure flies with a blink of an eye. Baltimore Maryland, my new home has been interesting to say the least.

The first few days I was here, I got lost in the shadiest of areas, almost out of a horror film with abandoned red warehouse industrial buildings and smokestacks, between 2-4 am in the morning in the scary areas of Baltimore. I remember pulling over to a Walgreen's for directions and this woman after giving me directions, told me, "I don't usually give my number to strangers, but there are a lot of insane people out right now. so call me, even if you feel in the slightest way uncomfortable, just call me. or if you get lost, call me" She straight up feared for me. Which made me even more scared..haha..but eventually by God's grace, I found my new house. Lucky for me I had my sister.

The following week, my car arrived. That first night it was here on the street, between 4-7am, three different sets of cars came and "scoped" out my car. Talk about organized crime, apparently, they check out cars here and examine if they should "smash and grab" for example if you have a gps system or a shopping bag or backpack in your car. But thankfully, they didn't do anything of that sort. I got my car insurance the next day.

A week later, some guy followed me home. But I walked to the market, to a public place. Was a little scary.

All the while, I was the only target (In my entire house, with 2 other people available) of the wonderful mysterious givers of the bites on my legs that gave me my cankle (I have pictures, but I don't want to scare you..haha of an elephantitis like foot). It was great. 

But through all of these initial events, I have come to see first and foremost the need that Baltimore has. How people flood to hospitals because they've overdosed cause they're caught in an endless cycle of depression, lack of role models, issues that I only scratched the surface of. How only 38.5% of Baltimore high school students graduate. You can see them walking around the city for most of the day. So many have lost trust in people, the government and the system. It doesn't help that institutions have hurt them in the past and still throw them out of their homes today.

Its a hard situation nonetheless, something I believe only prayer and God can redeem. Fortunately, I've found a wonderful, thriving church, Hope Chapel Ministries, out here where I've been able to be grounded. The Lord God is good, for He is perfect in His ways and timing. Who knew I'd be here..He did. I will keep trusting in the Lord, leaning not on my own understanding. Trying in all my ways to acknowledge Him so that He would make my paths straight. Something of late: Learning to "kenosis" empty myself as Jesus did so that I can "look to the interest of others" as Philippians 2 speaks of.

Hope Chapel Women :)

I'm so thankful to be here on the East Coast and in Baltimore, having learned all that I've learned. About life, the Lord, things outside of California. I'm thankful for the smiles, the laughs, and the memories that I've created being here. Thank you Jesus.

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A Photo Year In Review:

My Cohort and peers

Halloween Party

 Mishy's 25th Bday in NYC and NYC Date with Daddy

Miss Shirley's Cafe with Grace & Iggi's Pizza with friends :)

Max's Mobtown Lounge & Thanksgiving at Home

Hope Chapel Young Adult Women and Friends

Christian sisters and brothers

Christmas Holiday & Birthday

Then came the 2nd round of snow in Baltimore, MD

A visitor! :)

Roommates - Jenni and Osato

LoveDay

Things are so busy, but in the midst of it all, I feel like I'm in the eye of the world's storm. In peace I find the Lord who graciously allows me to live with purpose and passion. ^_^

Leaving on a Jet Plane

I'm reminded of the last scene in Armageddon when the group is about to board the spacecraft, singing  "Leaving on a jet plane, I don't know when I'll be back again." Though I'm not leaving permanently, this is definitely not a quick vacation. I can't believe it crept on me so quickly.

I have a one-way ticket to Johns Hopkins, Baltimore, Maryland. I'm leaving August 25, 2:35 pm by Southwest.

This summer has definitely been one which God used to teach me. I learned of patience, about the importance of prayer, and how to trust that God has a perfect will for me.

I can't believe I'm leaving my home. I pray for the things I'm leaving as well as the new things I will be embracing. I'm sorry I couldn't meet with everyone. But I thank you for how God has used you to impact me at one point or another. For those I could meet, thank you! Still, some time left: dinner with pastor's family, family, grandma's birthday gettogether, roomies and friends.

California, how I will miss thee : my family, the birthday parties and pinatas, my doggy...

friends (though it's exciting how so many of us are beginning a new journey, whether it's grad school, or married life, or a new job)...

my church and small group (the talks, the crafts, the wii haha)..

UCLA games..

the beaches and the beautiful 65 degree weather and the food (can't forget that!!).

Please pray for me and my family. Thank you for those who've been praying, we really appreciate and feel the love of Christ from the body of Christ!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Weddings - A time of joy and new beginnings

It's been such a blessing to be a witness of so many beautiful weddings in the past year alone and I can't wait for the many more to come. This is an overdue year in review and a reflection on how fast time flies even within a year. Congratulations to all the happy couples! ^_^

Minsoo oppa and Kelli Han's Wedding. I remember when he used to lead worship for our youth group..he and his wife waited like 7 years to get married. Talk about committed.

Peter and Christine Yang's Wedding. And now after 6 months or so, she's pregnant!

Gil and Kathy Yoon's Wedding. I love how they make each other laugh. The way they interact is so awesome!

Joe and Becky Cho's Wedding. Most memorable moment: getting kicked out of the banquet hall for the 3rd time because of the malfunctioning fire alarms. But it was still fun!

The Kim's Wedding with my baby cousin as the flower girl.

Katie's Surprise Bridal Shower (food was fantastic! as you can see) and Sam and Katie Hong's Wedding.

Hannie's Bridal Shower. She's going to be a beautiful bride (just a few more days my fellow nerdette)! ^_^

And a congratulations to my friends, the newly engaged Kamille and Ian. ^_^

"Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise...Blessed be Your name."

Something I've been learning lately. I am so humbled at how God meets us where we are at. It's one thing when God Almighty, maker and creator of the world and every single living creature and heavenly things, gives us the ability to spend eternal life with Him through faith in Jesus Christ. But it's another, when time and time again, He actively makes Himself known in our lives.

For me, knowing God in his infinite power and majesty, loves me that much to invest in me is such a blessing that makes me speechless and draws me to tears. I am brought to my knees in thanksgiving; not for how he answers my requests or the lack thereof. But rather to the fact that he responds at all. His creation alone speaks and should be enough to reflect God's awesomeness. But no..He loves me...He loves me enough to be direct with me.

Psalms 144: 3-5 " O LORD, what is man that you care for him, the son of man that you think of him? Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow." Yet He still shows He cares.

I realized recently, that as much faith as I thought I had, I still lacked that much more.I felt like He was prodding me with this verse, "Oh, ye of little faith." Taking leaps of faith is something that with time, has made me less hesitant to do. Why? Because I'm comfortable or like assurance. But God's been convicting me as of late, that I have been placing my assurance in man or myself. Both are bound to fail. Whereas God, ever so constant, the Alpha and Omega, will never fail.

Taking a leap of faith, going a route where you feel you have more to lose than to gain, without any assurance, is a scary thing. No one to depend on, except ultimately God. But let me assure you as God assures us through the Bible. Depending on God and taking that leap of faith will be the best thing you've ever done. Whether it is in this lifetime or in heaven, God will always be faithful and just. He knows these leaps are difficult, but once you do it, you are vulnerable and fully dependent on Him. Bottom line: He loves that.